J Cathartic

Go, listen. Tell me what you think.

http://pseudopod.org/2008/02/27/flash-secret-boxes/

So....

I know, no update for a while. But its been busy. I got a new job at Harbor, working as the archivist for the Center for Occupational Advancement. And I'm still going to school.

Just letting you know that I received that check today. The one for my very first story ever sold. Its real pretty. :)

Gonna frame it.

Today had the flavor of manshit. My car, the people who fixed it, all of it so utter smelling of fecal matter. Of the human variety. I'm disturbed because all of this badness occurred with the first real happiness I've had in a while. Fucking A man.

J

Philosophy of Religion ain't no philosophy of mine, dagnabbit! All those big words and thoughts. People need to sit their asses down and be ig'nant (ignorant) sometimes.

Now of course I dont believe that bullsh** but still I'm like what the hellion?

So a friend is urging me to write more, that I shouldn't "lose momentum" and he's right I suppose. I mean if I really want this, and I really do, this should only push me forward. I mean, dude! So I suppose getting back into the swing of things is not a *bad* idea. No not one at all, I's think. My favorite author, the loverly Miss Kiernan (greygirlbeast), makes it her biz to keep up with her fans and readers and friends via her journal and she's faithful to it. Mimic the greats, or at least *your* greats.

Pseudopod accepted my story for its podcast. I get a whole 20 dollars for it. So damn cool. I'm published, yall. :) So damn cool!

Jerome

So another one? Yes, another one. I'm curious...things are strange. I'm getting money this week....so my car will finally be drivable. That's scary. Driving now, fills me with an anxiety that's fairly strong. And what frightens me more is that I may get used to be scared and relax enough so that I'm *not* scared and I'll fuck up again. Life is strange.

I'm reading Angels in America for my Contemp Lit class. She traded out a couple of the other books only to add two more that I like. ITs incredible to read the words, the words that I fell for when I first saw it, and relive how fantastic they are. Kushner's an excellent writer. Ok so here I go, back to studying. My first class syllabus is going to be in Courier font. Or Verdana.

Given this brief respite from homework, which is actually time that I'm forcing myself to pause, I think updating my journal is not a bad idea. I feel the tendrils of procrastination trying to rap around me so its really time to step up my game and regain that drive I had about a month ago. Its always about this time during a semester that I start to stumble and loose interest. I gotta avoid that lull at all costs. I recently I was reading a college catalog and looking into what was needed for the Ph.D degree and it said that it was expected of you to teach a seminar during your candidacy. Thats so awesome. I can't wait to teach my first class. It feels me with this type of enthusiasm about getting my degree and finishing school. More than likely I'll be able to teach way before then with a B.A. but still.... Its cool.

I have a biology exam coming up and I plan to do at least three more essays by Tuesday and turn them in. So....its back to work.

J

I haven't been writing, but hey I have a viable working excuse. I'm working my ASS off to get a very nice GPA at the end of the semester.

in other disparaging news:

http://www.southernstudies.org/facingsouth/2007/07/black-nooses-hanging-from-white-tree.asp

News News News.....my financial aid appeal went through which means I wont have to get a job this semester. I can actually settle down and do school! Shit yea! I'm gonna do that bitch till shes raw!

More or less thats the only thing going on right now. I had great conversation (note it was a conversation - a exchange of words mutually between two people where one actively listens and the other actively responds and the roles switch intermittently) with a counselor. It's encouraged me greatly. I told her about the theories of horror -- especially splatterpunk -- being therapeutic for the aggression we teach our children to cultivate and she disagreed somewhat. I told her I'll write my thesis on the subject and she said she'd love to read it someday.

I still haven't heard anything from the Fox people, which kinda scares me. I do think, however, that I'd at least get a "sorry dude" letter or something.

Haven't written anything substantial in a little while but I think I'll be doing something soon. Hopefully.

 

Its been awhile dear LJ. I love you, know that. :) The last couple of days of recovery have been much needed.

School's about start and my appeal for the FinAid didnt go through. This round. I'm about to appeal again, writing a letter to the appeal committee and explaining in depth the circumstances of this very crazy summer. I'm the last person to think that my problems are somehow bigger and badder than everyone else's -- as though I can't take the shit that life dishes out and that I don't see the fact that there are plenty of people who are much worse off than I am -- but perhaps there is something to be said for the works I did accomplish. We'll see, I suppose.

Still no writing. Will get to that soon.

J

Celebrated my cousin's birthday with him yesterday. Went to San Diego, had a ok time. People who love San Diego...IT AINT THAT GREAT!

Last night, drunk just a bit more than I should have. I typically don't do it at all because I come from a family of alcoholics, but it was his birthday and he doesn't like drinking alone. But dammit, when I do it, I go overboard. Addictive behavior anyone?

Well this bad head feeling, coupled with the funny tummy feeling should tied me over for another year or so. Jesus I hate alcohol.

I didn't get to post yesterday after the meeting/interview, because things happening in the neighborhood needed more immediate attention and a couple bottles of rum and cognac, a gallon of water, and loud music to help it.

But...I think it went well. I'm optimistic. *I* got a copy of the Nightmare Factory! But I dont think I've sufficiently wowed anyone yet. YET.

I havent completed much writing at all, but with the nervousness of the meeting now gone, I think I can concentrate on writing a bit more. Just a little bit. :)

Jerome

So greygirlbeast said something that, quite honestly, has inspired me:

Each in herhisits respective world, authors are Nature or the gods or demons or the sleeping mind set loose to perceive, and, as such, writers can be the most merciless bastards in the whole universe.

Its just the utter truth. The most effective authors are the gods who are the most merciless.

Now....I need to write.

My god. So long since a film this amazing landed into my lap. It reminds me of Sphere, Event Horizon, and some other movies. It reminds me of Ms. Kiernan's Dry Salvages as well. Just watch it. Fox is seriously my favorite production company right now.

Today was random and tiring. I didnt do much, but what I did do I hadn't planned on it and you know how that goes. I love my godson, but I'm damn happy he's my godson and not my son. I just dont have it in me to be able to babysit kids yet. I just don't have the patience.

All things with time...

Today's a day of rest and recuperation...well it would be if i was a Seventh Day Adventist.

So Monday I meet with Eric. Nervous as HELL.

Otherwise, this is all very weird to me. On the downside, I've written nothing in the last couple of days. Great start right?

JD

So I mentioned the Fox thing right and the possible internship? Well I forgot to say that two of the people I got to speak to about it sent me some most AWESOME Trades. I got copies of The Hills Have Eyes prequel and the 28 Weeks Later tie-in. Everything about these damned books are great. The art work, the story telling -- awesome. I need to be on this team!

MIKI! ERIC! ZACH! CAN YOU HEAR ME???

Order the books.

i dont think i'm easily awed or amazed by things but this -- this gets me. Its horrible than anything i would let myself imagine or write. you know those huge evils that you only ever get a glimpse of -- that stay off the screen and still horrifies you...this is it.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-attack14aug14,0,2817986.story?coll=la-home-center

Insane...not the man, but *it*. The whole thing. I wish I had it in me to be nonchalant about it, because "these things happen all the time." but fuck that. The kid was 6.

J

This summer has had a lot, and I mean a LOT of twists, turns, and (nice) surprises. I spent four weeks as a member of a focus group made up of kids my age group and we basically told Fox and NBC execs what we liked and didn't like in websites. On top of being exposed to several huge people in the industry (yes, I call it the "industry" now) I got a kick ass computer (i'm listing the specs later because I love it THAT much and its THAT awesome) and a thousand dollars. I bought a car at the auction with the grand and once the timing chain is fixed, I'll be happier than...well then I've been in a long while.

On the other hand, most of the great academic ideals I had for the summer changed. I managed to get a B in Anthropology and a C in my Oceanography class. The rest of the classes I dropped. Sucks because I may not get my financial aid, which would certainly solve a bazillion problems, financially at least, for me.

I'm up for an internship at Fox Atomic, a genre production company thats a subsidiary of Fox, a part of the gigantic and VERY republican NewsCorp. But the fact that they've produced a couple of the biggest horror flicks.

Eh, working for the man could be worse.

I wrote something. Its the first draft of the jack in the box story and its only 531 words, but its still the story and its finished and unfinished and all that. So...yay me or something right?

We'll see what the difference is.

I always read that the important part of being a writer is to WRITE. WRITE WRITE WRITE! If its only in a journal. Just do it every day. Discipline. And I have so little of it. Well I'm writing now.

Hmm, so I've had my electricity cut off for what will hopefully be the first and last time ever. Such a scary feeling. and I'm in the midst of cleaning which I'm going to finish.

I have a couple of story ideas in my head, including this one about this damn jack-in-the-box and another about something i call the Tree Eater and yet another about this kid who realizes some of very fucked up things about his...existence.

I just need to WRITE the stories.

And get to making my novel. Which will be about a young man who's birth was...messed up. No real heroes in this one.